MOON CRACK AND BOYS

I'm packing-up for the day and getting ready to leave the office when CS and Vijay pop-up and ask me a surprising question.

"Edel you know that they've discovered water traces on the moon, right?"

I nodded gravely.

Of course I did.

I don't remember what errand I was to run for my mum on the way home, or what I was doing with my life, but SURE, I knew they've found water on the moon.

"Well, they've exploded a bomb on the moon, to find out if subterranean rocks have water traces on them." CS paused dramatically.

I tried to look impressed.

What is it about explosions and boys anyway? Anything violent and anything that goes BOOM, you'll find them salivating. You ask them an opinion about the shoe you're wearing and they become comatose.

I tried to look impressed.

I just wanted to go pee and leave the office.

"They cracked the moon."

WHAT????

Someone CRACKED the moon?

MY moon?

Just exploded a bomb there and 'cracked' it, like an egg?

I was so stunned I even forgot I had to pee.

CS and Vijay looked terrifically pleased with themselves; like as though they had personally pressed the button that had detonated the bomb on the moon.

I was at a complete loss for words - even inside my head - and if you know me, you'll realize how seldom THAT happens. I kept opening and closing my mouth, my hands clutching my chest, feeling bereaved because someone had cracked my moon.

Finally I spluttered, "Cracked the moon! Like cracking a walnut? Why? Why? Why would anyone do something like that? Did they want to crack it or was that like an accident? Why didn't they just drill a hole and take whatever moon-rock they fancied? How is this going to affect our weather and the tides? Which stupid country is responsible for this outrage?"

But CS was not finished. "You can go out and actually see the crack on the moon."

He imparted this piece of information like he was sharing the juiciest piece of Kollywood gossip.

WHAT!

:o

I can go out and see the crack on my moon?

SEE IT?

Just like that?

I can go outside and look up and I'll see the Moon's new CRACK?

I was outraged! The moral injustice of it all! The gall of these bounders that destroyed our moon - My moon - THE MOON!

Predictably I spluttered something incomprehensible, while CS and Vijay stood about watching - quite amused.

"Why? Why? Why?" I gasped, almost in physical pain by now.

"Because people are going to colonise the moon eventually", CS replied wisely and Vijay nodded even more wisely.

What is this?

A bizarre H. G. Wells inspired nightmare?

Finally it all came out in a torrent."How stupid and irresponsible are we, that we would leave a perfectly good planet with plenty of space to spare, to go and colonise a satellite that has neither the atmosphere or the resources to sustain life, when there's TONS of work to do right here!!!! There's this piddly little detail about the holes in the Ozone layer. Or how about starving children? Or even cholera? Why not fix this rubbish instead of flying off to somewhere else to form an artificial biosphere? Do these intelligent idiots even consider the minor detail about cost and effort????? They'll have to transport EVERYTHING to the moon! They'll have to transport water there in space ships and they have bring back their poop - in poopy space-ships!"

I was shrieking now and getting terrifically dramatic - my arms flying about the place and scrunching up my face to illustrate what I thought of poopy space-ships.

CS and Vijay cracked-up laughing.

I stopped my tirade to look at them blankly.

"Nothing nothing. You keep on talking", Vijay gasped and they roared with laughter.

BOYS!