MOON CRACK AND BOYS

I'm packing-up for the day and getting ready to leave the office when CS and Vijay pop-up and ask me a surprising question.

"Edel you know that they've discovered water traces on the moon, right?"

I nodded gravely.

Of course I did.

I don't remember what errand I was to run for my mum on the way home, or what I was doing with my life, but SURE, I knew they've found water on the moon.

"Well, they've exploded a bomb on the moon, to find out if subterranean rocks have water traces on them." CS paused dramatically.

I tried to look impressed.

What is it about explosions and boys anyway? Anything violent and anything that goes BOOM, you'll find them salivating. You ask them an opinion about the shoe you're wearing and they become comatose.

I tried to look impressed.

I just wanted to go pee and leave the office.

"They cracked the moon."

WHAT????

Someone CRACKED the moon?

MY moon?

Just exploded a bomb there and 'cracked' it, like an egg?

I was so stunned I even forgot I had to pee.

CS and Vijay looked terrifically pleased with themselves; like as though they had personally pressed the button that had detonated the bomb on the moon.

I was at a complete loss for words - even inside my head - and if you know me, you'll realize how seldom THAT happens. I kept opening and closing my mouth, my hands clutching my chest, feeling bereaved because someone had cracked my moon.

Finally I spluttered, "Cracked the moon! Like cracking a walnut? Why? Why? Why would anyone do something like that? Did they want to crack it or was that like an accident? Why didn't they just drill a hole and take whatever moon-rock they fancied? How is this going to affect our weather and the tides? Which stupid country is responsible for this outrage?"

But CS was not finished. "You can go out and actually see the crack on the moon."

He imparted this piece of information like he was sharing the juiciest piece of Kollywood gossip.

WHAT!

:o

I can go out and see the crack on my moon?

SEE IT?

Just like that?

I can go outside and look up and I'll see the Moon's new CRACK?

I was outraged! The moral injustice of it all! The gall of these bounders that destroyed our moon - My moon - THE MOON!

Predictably I spluttered something incomprehensible, while CS and Vijay stood about watching - quite amused.

"Why? Why? Why?" I gasped, almost in physical pain by now.

"Because people are going to colonise the moon eventually", CS replied wisely and Vijay nodded even more wisely.

What is this?

A bizarre H. G. Wells inspired nightmare?

Finally it all came out in a torrent."How stupid and irresponsible are we, that we would leave a perfectly good planet with plenty of space to spare, to go and colonise a satellite that has neither the atmosphere or the resources to sustain life, when there's TONS of work to do right here!!!! There's this piddly little detail about the holes in the Ozone layer. Or how about starving children? Or even cholera? Why not fix this rubbish instead of flying off to somewhere else to form an artificial biosphere? Do these intelligent idiots even consider the minor detail about cost and effort????? They'll have to transport EVERYTHING to the moon! They'll have to transport water there in space ships and they have bring back their poop - in poopy space-ships!"

I was shrieking now and getting terrifically dramatic - my arms flying about the place and scrunching up my face to illustrate what I thought of poopy space-ships.

CS and Vijay cracked-up laughing.

I stopped my tirade to look at them blankly.

"Nothing nothing. You keep on talking", Vijay gasped and they roared with laughter.

BOYS!

SYNAMEN

It was one of those days when time drags its feet, the air is heavy with routine and you feel like you’re swimming against a tide of molasses.
Or …. You could say I was sleepy and be done with it.
Was Facebooking [big surprise that!] when there was a sound that can only be compared to someone going to town with a sledge hammer in a tin factory.
Sriram enters the room and catches me whiling my time away. He raises his eye-brows at me and I’m like, ‘Boss! Give me a break! How many times are you going to be shocked about my work ‘ethics’ – in that, I have none?’
I make a mental note to myself that I will practice the art of closing my Facebook and Gtalk pages on time whenever there’s authority nearby, when Sriram beckons me to follow him to his office upstairs.
I will call it ‘the walk of shame’ henceforth in my blog-posts, and you guys will understand what it means.
[Glossary: Walk of Shame – The short walk up the stairs to the Boss’s office after being caught wasting time]

“Do you know the meaning of the word ‘Synamen’, Edel?”
“It’s the name of the office and sounds like cinnamon” …. Seriously, was he trying to spook me with the whole Al Pachino’s, Michael Corleone routine? “Do you know the meaning of the word ‘Respect’, Edel?” and then POW … extra hole in the head L
“It’s really an interesting story”, he smiled a little vaguely, while spraying the room with Old Spice, ignoring my intelligent reply.
“We were trying to come up with a name that reflected our credo, that when like-minded people get together to work towards a common goal, they create miracles. Synergy between men creates magic.”
Sriram looked through me into far away as he continued.
“And it sounds like cinnamon. You’re right. When people get together, there’s a mix of flavors and when we’re all trying to achieve something bigger than us … we create a brotherhood of warm relationships. And Spices do that to food. Add flavor and warmth and make an otherwise ordinary dish – memorable and extraordinary.”
Wow
So that’s the story behind our name.
Synergy between men. Synamen. Relationships and unique flavors. Cinnamon. Synamen.
I had to smile.
What a lovely play with words!!!

Er ….. What about women? ;)

PROHIVE

Seriously, this is the most exciting concept I’ve heard.
And I’m PROUD to be associated with it.
Go SYNAMEN!!!!!!


Have you heard of that old story – it could be true or it could be a fable. But this is how it goes …..
Christopher Columbus was at a dinner hosted by the King and Queen of Spain, in honor of his discovery of the ‘Indies’.
There was a table full of aristocrats and Europe’s elite.
And they were belittling this great explorer’s achievement. Subtly of course and with great political correctness.
“Anyone could have done what Columbus has done”, they said with generous smiles.
“It just happened that it was him. I mean I could have done it too … had I thought of it.”
“What’s the big fuss about a spot of sailing and planting a flag on a shore?”
And so they talked and so Columbus kept his peace.
Then the great explorer said, “Ladies and gentlemen. I have a wager. I challenge any one of you fine folk to make this egg stand on one end - without support - and I will publicly declare that I am no hero.”
The Bourgeois scrambled to prove that they were the better.
And they all failed.
Finally, the loudest of the lot declared that this was an impossible task and collectively declared their defeat.

Columbus took the egg from the man, crushed it a little on one end and made the egg stand.
The room fell silent.



Every time I work on PROHIVE, I’m reminded of this story.
For PROHIVE is simplicity itself.
There was a need. My Bosses recognized it, have worked-out how to address this need and are now working feverishly towards launching a Portal that could very well revolutionize the way you and I do business over the net.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I take Great Pride in welcoming you all into the world of PROHIVE.

CHENNAI HEAT '09

Hello everyone,
SYNAMEN is proud to be associated with www.chennaiheat.com, the ONLY site where you can get all the info you need, about the hottest and coolest game to hit our shores in the recent past.
So visit the site and check out the biggest, baddest game of the year this weekend [2nd, 3rd and 4th October Elliot's Beach, Beasant Nagar] and you'll thank us for getting you started on your addiction.

Cheers,
Team Synamen

WHY I AM AWESOME AND SYNAMEN IS LUCKY TO HAVE ME ….. Part Une

So there’s Boss, talking to this gentleman who wants to rent Boss’s dad’s factory-space in Vellacherry.

As usual, Boss is talking – a lot.

And in the course of the conversation, the gentleman – Sunil - wants to know what SYNAMEN is currently involved in, and this, of course, prompts Boss to talk some more – it’s easy when someone loves the sound of his own voice so much.

Mr. Sunil appears very interested.

So Boss tells him to look our web-site up and read my Blog [ahem ahem …… I’ll just wait for the applause to die-down then ;)] …. which Mr. Sunil does and tells his wife to do ..... because, let's face it, The Blog is SPECTACULAR.

Now Vidhu, Mr. Sunil’s wife, is a Computer Programmer with an enviable track record and experience behind her. She’d decided to stay at home to take care of their daughter, Anna, for a few years, but now that Anna is old enough to go to school, Vidhu wanted to start working again.

So she reads my Blog and is at once impressed with SYNAMEN – Because of my Blog, not to overstate a point, that is.

She tells her husband, who gets in touch with Boss, who, in turn, invites her to come by to our office and have a look see at the place.

And she does ……

Later that evening, Boss calls me to his office and tells me that Vidhu had been keen on joining SYNAMEN after reading my Blog.

I tried hard not to preen – who am I kidding? I strutted around and felt like a million bucks.

Do you reckon I can ask for incentives?

I won’t get any, but it can’t hurt to ask ;)

ELECTRONICS AND COMMUNICATION

It was one of those afternoons when nothing seemed to be going according to plan [who am I kidding? When has there ever been a plan?] The words wouldn’t come and even a walk down to the corner tea-stall for a couple of fly-infested, oily samosas wouldn’t kick-start the old grey-cells.

Dejected I walked upstairs to Shreeram/Sriram’s office and stopped dead on my tracks.

Shreeram was busy typing while Sriram seemed to be crawling about the floor like a baby.

Eh?

Suddenly interested, I walked in and found Boss, armed with nothing but his Electronics and Communications Engineering degree, trying to fix his broken desk. Apparently he had rested too much of his weight on the roll-out key-board holder of his desk and it had buckled and crashed under the strain.

Fascinated, I watched as Sriram, doubled in half, maneuvered himself into the leg-space of his desk [bet the last time he was this folded, was when he was a foetus] trying to find the round ball-thingys that make the roll-out bit of his desk slide smoothly [what? I’m not the one with the Electronics and Communications Degree!]

“I need grease”, he murmured [when instantly the Bee Gees started playing inside my head] and started hunting about in his pen stand.

Boss keeps a spare dollop of grease in his pen-stand?

He studiously picked-up Fevistick and smeared a generous amount of it on the grids. Er …. I may not exactly have an Electronics and Communications degree, but I’m pretty certain that glue and grease are 2 different things altogether. I voice my concern and Sriram replies, “It’s glue for stamps but when you put it on metal, it’s a lubricant.”

Riiiiiiiiiiight.

Images of them trying to install The Calling-Bell flashed unbidden in my mind.

Morbidly fascinated I stood and watched Sriram gamely maneuver himself like those under-water, cave explorers in that small space and place the metal rod with the round thingys, only now smeared generously with Fevistick, and then …… a few minor adjustments later, the desk was fixed!!

Oh ye of little faith, Sriram’s expression seemed to say.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF THE MISSING CUSHIONS – PART TROIS

The case has been officially solved.

The person responsible for my cushions going AWOL is none other than Shreeram Raghuraman aka Iyer.

Apparently they had had some important people come to the office over the weekend and he decided that my cushions gave my booth a distinct ‘holiday-feel’ and didn’t lend itself to the whole professional ambiance of the place.

I mean, seriously!

What next? We’ll have to wear formals to work?